Down In The Dumps

I'm really upset.  My fridge died yesterday and I went down to the tip earlier to dispose of the body.  I've known Jimmy for nearly twenty years and this is a goodbye I wasn't ready for.  So farewell dear friend, you've always been there for me and I'll miss you forever and ever.

Stay cool.

Name Change

I have recently stumbled onto the knowledge that you can alter your name via Deed Poll and being stricken with a horrid central description I have decided to alter the midway point between my forename and surname.  You know, zap some pizzazz into it.  How does everyone feel about Ewan Garth Pooperfarts?  To be honest any other middle name is an improvement.  Ewan Pooperfarts Pooperfarts is just ridiculous.  Who has the same middle name and surname?  My parents really did have an alternative sense of humour.  Or they may not have been joking when they said 'They would rather I had been born dead'.  Parents, I guess we'll never know.

I'm Free

I have just spent the last few weeks under a spell of silence.  Apparently the local Witch, Miss Craddock was unhappy with her steak fillets and is blaming me for a ruined dinner party.  Only now has the curse been lifted can I speak freely of the tortuous fortnight that has recently past.  It was crummy and although all future allegiances with the Witches Guild will be partaken in, they will be lacking in enthusiasm and dedication.